What a day.
Today was 84 degrees and I sat in the van, waiting to pick up my Kindergartener and I was sweating in December (in shorts and a t-shirt)! I had the Christmas songs playing and couldn't feel less prepared for Christmas. I blasted myself with the AC and sang along to the songs, but just couldn't get into the Xmas spirit. Not today anyways.
I have been trying to catch my breath from the busy events (moving/working/taking care of 2 busy kids) of the past 1-2 weeks without a break and unfortunately haven't gotten that break just yet...the last few days, we were reminded of just how "fun" homeownership can be. We knew we'd have things happen to our 40 year old house, we just didn't expect it within the first week of moving in. We found out there isn't proper drains to remove any water sources from our house to the city disposal system (to put it politely)...so "things" backed up...into both our tubs - when I was home with the kids by myself and had just worked 51 hours in 4 nights...It was not a good situation and I really wasn't unable to deal with the stress. So I put myself in a mommy time-out and it was an early bedtime for us all...I wish so bad I didn't have to work long hours or deal with life-threatening emergencies...but I do. And most of the time I can do it without issue, but the past week at work, unfortunately has left me drained, and I'm afraid I'm not coping well. I have had several challenging patient situations, including numerous difficult deliveries and c-sections, a true stat emergency, where things turned out fine, but then I also had a mom experiencing a loss of her child 7 months pregnant. Sometimes, it is truly impossible to leave work and just carry on with life as normal when you deal with so many traumatic things at work.
Also today, two years ago we lost my Grandpa, very suddenly to cancer. It was so very sad, but at the same time, he had battled cancer 1.5 years and I know he was tired. He seemed healthy to the end, but truly he must have suffered a great deal. He was an incredibly devoted Christian - a missionary for many years and he even taught Bible class Sunday and then was admitted to the hospital that night, only to pass the next day. No one from Church had known he wasn't well. Our entire family made the trek to Ontario to celebrate his life and mourn. I know we all miss him but also know that Heaven gained an angel and he is enjoying his reward. For the family, I know it is a hard time as we all miss him and think of him, especially this week.
So I'm back at work tonight and thankfully, I have a bit of a break to reflect (so I'm writing so I don't completely fall apart)...I'm hoping to turn all the frustration, exhaustion and sadness into better days and feeling less blue. Maybe in a day or two we can do some Christmas preparations and I can find something to by joyful about. Until then, I just hope things can settle down and no more issues come up!
I have been trying to catch my breath from the busy events (moving/working/taking care of 2 busy kids) of the past 1-2 weeks without a break and unfortunately haven't gotten that break just yet...the last few days, we were reminded of just how "fun" homeownership can be. We knew we'd have things happen to our 40 year old house, we just didn't expect it within the first week of moving in. We found out there isn't proper drains to remove any water sources from our house to the city disposal system (to put it politely)...so "things" backed up...into both our tubs - when I was home with the kids by myself and had just worked 51 hours in 4 nights...It was not a good situation and I really wasn't unable to deal with the stress. So I put myself in a mommy time-out and it was an early bedtime for us all...I wish so bad I didn't have to work long hours or deal with life-threatening emergencies...but I do. And most of the time I can do it without issue, but the past week at work, unfortunately has left me drained, and I'm afraid I'm not coping well. I have had several challenging patient situations, including numerous difficult deliveries and c-sections, a true stat emergency, where things turned out fine, but then I also had a mom experiencing a loss of her child 7 months pregnant. Sometimes, it is truly impossible to leave work and just carry on with life as normal when you deal with so many traumatic things at work.
Also today, two years ago we lost my Grandpa, very suddenly to cancer. It was so very sad, but at the same time, he had battled cancer 1.5 years and I know he was tired. He seemed healthy to the end, but truly he must have suffered a great deal. He was an incredibly devoted Christian - a missionary for many years and he even taught Bible class Sunday and then was admitted to the hospital that night, only to pass the next day. No one from Church had known he wasn't well. Our entire family made the trek to Ontario to celebrate his life and mourn. I know we all miss him but also know that Heaven gained an angel and he is enjoying his reward. For the family, I know it is a hard time as we all miss him and think of him, especially this week.
So I'm back at work tonight and thankfully, I have a bit of a break to reflect (so I'm writing so I don't completely fall apart)...I'm hoping to turn all the frustration, exhaustion and sadness into better days and feeling less blue. Maybe in a day or two we can do some Christmas preparations and I can find something to by joyful about. Until then, I just hope things can settle down and no more issues come up!
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