a Year ago today... I can't believe the difference a year makes!

It was pretty much 1 year ago that we had just learned we were expecting. I was extremely happy and couldn't wait to find out if we were gonna have a son or daughter... Robert was busy with school and I was really busy working 60-72 hour weeks as a nurse and we were paying off debt like crazy! I loved my crazy job and being a nurse was great...and I loved my time with Robert. Since we were ready to start having Kiddos, I knew it would all change, I just didn't know how exactly!. We wondered how we would manage work, school and a baby, but we didn't worry about it because I knew we would find a way, we always do.
Fast forward 1 year and here we are today. Robert and I did in fact find a way around day care and I've started back to work, on night shift. (3 weeks ago, thus I haven't written since then) I don't think Day Care is wrong, it's just not for us. Robert is in grad school twice a week and I work 3 other nights a week. Considering we have no family around for over 100 miles, I feel pretty blessed that our schedules worked out this way, allowing both Robert & I to be her primary caretakers 24/7.
We worked on Izzy's routine and created a schedule that worked for us, and so far it has all gone very smoothly. In preparation for "Operation Daddy's Days with Izzy", I wrote out Izzy's entire schedule, complete with nap times, length, bottle amounts, what we do in each playtime, etc. Robert definitely stepped up and took over without a hitch. In fact he helped me gradually cut out her 4th nap and extend her other naps where we have more time with her awake in the day. He is such a great daddy and Izzy loves all the extra playing she gets with him!! When I am working, I have total peace of mind that he is taking good care of her and she is fine. This has helped me considerably in the transition. I definitely married the perfect man!
Everyone keeps asking me how I'm doing going back to work and I always respond, I hate it... however I'll be honest and I admit, while it is super hard to leave my baby, returning to work has been bitter-sweet. I was extremely sad and tearful to return to fulltime work after my 4 month maternity leave. I was loving mommy hood, nursing, and just spending the entire day with my precious baby girl, as well as having lots of extra time with Robert and being on the same schedule as him too. I will say it has been good for me to get up, shower and get ready to go to work and do something other than think, talk and act like mommy all day long. It's just too bad that I have a very high stress level job. When things get hectic at work, I get frustrated and annoyed. Since I'm already tired and just want to be home with Robert & my baby, this makes staying awake until 8am every morning completely exhausting. I think I'd rather just be a stay-at-home mommy! So until I can stay-at-home, I'll use my sleep aids and my coffee each day, work to the best of my ability and appreciate my husband for all his does for both me & Izzy!